Job and grace

So my new job has new handhelds and I think I got it down. So when we take over miller and get my own route I hope it won't be too hard. It's alot to learn all at once.
So I'm trying to get a truck. It's being hard because I just moved and I don't think I have anything mailed to my new adress and that's the problem. I have to go down to the dealership after work and give them what I have and hopefuly it will be enought. If not then atleast they will have to give me my car back or $1500 for it since that's what I got as a trade in or cash money. Plus $500 down I gave them. So it maybe ok. Got a good price for my car. I'm paying out the nose for my new truck but since I just got out of a bankrubcy it's what I expected. I could have a lower payment but I know I wouldn't like the car so I picked the truck. Plus in six months I can lower my payment long ad I'm not late with the first 6 months of payments. Ot I can wait a year when my credit score goes up alot I can refinance it.

So grace talked about her moveing abit. She has no idea what she's going to do. I know I'm not going to go with her. I would have to get payed alot more than I'm worth at the moment. And it sucks cus I think she will go. It's been a few weird days. Yesterday I could tell she had something on her mind. I wanted to ask about it but I think if she wanted to talk about it she would. She told me about why she was in a bad mood but I could tell there was something else. Well time to work. Later

Not feeling like myself lately

So the SF and Santa Rosea trip went well. Grace and I had a great time at both places. Got to see my dad and his gf. Had two nice meals with them.

So for a while now I have been feeling diferent. Idk how but I have been off. As if I'm high or something. Idk. I think it's the fact that I'm home every day now and don't know how to deal with it yet. It's takeing longer than I thought. Always doing something or planing and always on the move. I need a night to just relax and go to bed early. I haven't gotten alot of sleep lately and that maybe the cause of my funky mood. I try to put on a happy face and aditude but I'm cranky and just being an ass lately. And I don't like it. It's as if Im haveing pms. Lol.

It sucks for my daughter. Because her mother is getting tierd of haveing her around all the time cus her new baby has problems and is stressing her out. I can understand being stressed out but don't take it out on my kid. My daughter is rebelling or just trying to get some atention. Unforchanetly it all bad attention. She does bad things and gets noticed. It's hard to let her get away with things but I don't want to baby her and I don't want to just punish her. I'm trying to ride a fine line. Not working out to well. I'm stressed out about all the things going on all at once. I'm thankful that grace has been so helpful and understanding.

So grace told me that if lee says it's a good place to work for she's gone and moveing to OR. She doesn't know if she wants me to go with her or not. She says she doesn't want to uproot me and not have things work out and make it harder to see my kid. That's the way things stand now. It may not happen for 6 or 12 months or even longer for lee to tell if it's a good place to work for. I said I would go if I can get 20+ an hour at the same place. I dout I can get that much but that's what it would take unless grace says she needs me in her life and she can't live with out me. If she said those words I would move up with her and find a way to see my kid. Back to work

Move????

So Grace may have an opertunity to have a great job but its in the middle of nowhere Orgen. i could go with her but i whould be even farther away from my kid. its tareing me apart inside. I want to be with Grace more than anything but i also want to see my kid too. i know a long distance relationship is out of the question. plus i whould hate to leave a job that i just got for another one. i think i would do well up there but arg.... it is a long ways off i hope. her dad did just get the job and it will take time for him to know if its a good move for her or not. plus we would go up there to see the area to see if she could live up htere. its just the fact that she made up her mind about it without talking to me about it at all. or very little anyways. i know we have only been dateing for 6 months or so but still. the whole things throughing me for a loop. does she want to be with me or not? she has been amzing to my daughter and has helped me a great deal. i just dont know what to do. when she told me that if she gets the offer shes taking it and moveing. i almost started to cry on the spot. deap down i know if she takes the job i will never see her again. the idea of the job out there sounds great and i think it would be alot of fun but i have a kid and cant just go. i have alot of thinking to do. and i need to know from her where she stands with me. i dont want to move then break up that would suck. i would have lost so much at that point. if it doesnt happen for a year and we are still together at that point....im going to ask her to marrie me. depending on her answer will depend on what i do. i dont know what else to do. i love Grace and i love my kid. but if im makeing that much money then i can afford to do the move and everything......only time will tell

wanted to do this for a long time now

So i am Caption Caveman. I grew up in a cave as a child and havent experianced alot of things. I am lucky enought to have found someone that is always on the go and expanding my experiances. She is my girlfriend and i have learned alot from her. So im putting down all the things im doing because of her. She has gotten me out of my shell.

I went to a Roller Derby Bout, an after party(at a bar),made soap, learned to knit, learning something else with needles, got a local job(mostly for her but I had planed to get one soon anyways but she got me to realy do it. I was scared too), and like dogs again. I'm almost to the point of picking up the dogs poop.

We plan on going to SF for a craft fair. Im exited to go. Plus I get to go to my highschool town and show her around. And i get to see my dad too. It should be interesting for my girl to meet my dad. Hes not the easiest person to get inprested. Or for that matter just be around. It should be a fun weekend.

So I hope I have more to put down soon. I would have explained more but I dont have time for it right now.