So my last blog was bad. Im still here. Im watching Graces dog tonight and tomorrow night. I watched her dog over this last weekend as well. Im helping her out by doing this and getting nothing in return. I can tell it eats at her that she feels that shes useing me. She is but im lettin her. So whos falt is it realy.....MINE!!! Im an idiot for being her for her right now. I should be keeping my distance. My friend/ roommate says I should not even talk to her and then after a year or two we can hang out together. Im sorry i cant not have her in my life for that long. She means so much to me. As a friend and as a person. She has helped me realize so many things. to name a few. Im standing up to my ex wife and telling her what i can and cant do. Whats fair and what isnt. She has shown me so many new things to do ...crafty things. She has shown me that if i dont make things happen on my own that i will miss out on things and to get out and do things by myself. She has helped me grow as a person.
She thinks she can hide feelings well but i can see the pain and the regret and ......i can see shame in her eyes sometimes. I may not know what is behide these things i see or get the vibe from her but i know she is confused and by me not able to stay away its prolonging her desicion on what she wants. i know she has slept with someone else and i dont blam her but its the fact that she says that she hasnt. its not the first lie i know she has told me. just little things here and there that i have picked up on. she can hardly look me in the eyes anymore. well i had more to say but should head off to bed. maybe tomorrow i will write more.
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