I'm a fool

So we were supposed to talk tonight and its not happening. She is avoiding me. At least that's what it seems like. She said its not like its the end of the world. Well for me it is. When I know there's something wrong and it's about me I have to know what it is. She is making excuses to not talk to me. What have I done? What did it do wrong? Can it be fixed? I'm a damn fool for moving in....expesialy so soon after meeting her. I'm lost as what to do. I'm stuck at her house now and can't do shit about it until the lease is over....at the earliest.

What am I doing?

I have met a girl about two months ago. Before we met she told me that she has stage four thyroid cancer. She asked if I still wanted to meet her. I said yes. I haven't stopped thinking about her since. I would bring my daughter down for the weekend and her three kids and mine would have fun all weekend. Me and her would have are fun😜 things were great!!! After about a month or so she told me that she may have to move unless she got a roommate. I was looking to move down to be able to see her more and see where things go. She asked if I would move in whith her. I said the only reason I was moveing down there was to be able to see her more.she stated that she wasn't looking for a relationship just yet but here I was and has repeatedly pointed out that I'm here and that I scare her cus I'm so good to her. There's other points to how she hints at how she feels about me. Like this.....her moms told her that I'm like her sisters man...he's very good to her sister....treats her great from what she told me and that her mom says I'm like that guy for her. So all of a sudden things went south. She sat me down and said that she can only be friends with benifits but exclusive to one another because she has too much going on. She also said that she is in a funk. A down time. Not to mention that she hasn't finished the devorce papers yet. I can understand that. I believe that she started acting this way because I happened to tell her I loved her. I do t know what I was thinking. It just slipped out. I over stepped some bounderys about her kids. That added to how things are now. Also I injured myself and was out from work for almost two weeks. I had pills and I drank a lot. I turned into someone I'm not proud of. My temper was short and I just fall owed her around like a little puppy. Makes me sick that I acted that way. So last night I asked if she had plans for today cuz I wanted to take everyone bowling. She said yes going to her friends for a kids sleep over. She has never giving me a reason to not trust her. There are things that bug me and I know there's things that I do that bug her. I know that adds to why she is acting like there's nothing between us. Before I moved in she acted like we were a couple cus that's what she said we were. Because when I told her that I talked to a girl she emeditly said it hurt more than she thought and that I would b moveing in ad her man. She now has changed that. So tonight when she left to go to her friends she said good bye to my kid and after a few seconds maybe a min she called up to me and said goodbye. I replaide goodbye. Hoping it wasn't in an angry voice. I'm not mad at her but I am confused as what she needs and wants from me. I don't get much from her....far as emotions or talking any more. So in slowly pulling away. I have to get my emotions back where they should be cuz I care about her way too much. I really don't know what I should do. I can't help but want to do things for her and try to make her life just alittle easier. I have always been this person. Now far as sleeping with someone else......I won't. I'm not like that and if if it ever happened I would tell her. But for it to happen I would have to be smashed drunk and being that smashed I wouldn't be able to get it up anyways. Lol