Its been one week today

A week ago today it happened. The brack up. I have done everything that i can to stay with her. It was for my own peace of mind that i tried at all. Its been a ruff week. Thursday was one of the hardest days. My daughter asked if we can go over to her house and i had to say no shes at work. then lets go when shes off work. Sorry sweety shes busy and doesnt have time for us today. as im driveing down the road crying. its giveing me tears now. so that night we whent to a kids play thing. it was alot of fun. my knees are still killing me from craling around so much. but it helped keep the brake up off my mind. then friday came. i had gotten some sleep the night before. first time that week. went to work had a mostly good day there. but i didnt cry or have time to think about grace. i had some understanding come to me. clarity.....almost. looking back i think i know we were doomed from the begining. i would always have this feeling that she didnt want to be with me. but then i said if she didnt want to be with me she wouldnt be. so i let it pass. then there where little things here and there that pointed it out as well but i ignored then. the last month i let her do most of the affection..start things as u will. because i had been getting tierd of doing all the work never knowing if she was in the mood or not. and i was getting tierd of it. bam thats when it hit me. once i realized i wasnt getting back what i gave and knew i wanted to get it back. my mind clicked. she was right. i do deserve some one that will want to be with me and give back as much as i give them. so my friday went pretty good. only one set back. my mom called me and the pain of getting dumped came up. yesterday was a hard day for me. i was thinking about her most of the day. i didnt realy have anything to do so that wasnt any help.today will be a hard one as well i think. i do have some things to do so we will see. i miss her. beeing around her, the things we did or the thought of her. just as she said it to me it didnt make sence but now it does. its not fair for both of us to not give 100% to each other or pretend things are fine when they arent. i know its for the best thst we dont see each other for a time. im allmost posative that she wont go back to me. the only times i thought we where right for each other was when we were out of town. and thats not enough. i realize now that i do want the affection from a girl. and that its important to me to resive it. idk i do love grace. i know im going to have ok days and bad days. i just want to stay away from the days where its so bad i cry. if i can stay away from those days in about a month i belive grace will text or call or something. we can hang out at that point. need to go and start my day. if i think about it much longer then i will cry.